When I was single in my 30s, I dated guys who had qualities I thought I “should” want.
For example, I was a smoker.
I knew I didn’t want to be one forever, so I learned to hide the fact that I was before going on dates or meeting new people.
I would even go so far as to tell guys who asked that I didn’t smoke so they wouldn’t reject me for that reason.
“I can quit if we get serious”, I would tell myself.
The problem wasn’t the smoking or not.
The problem was I wasn’t willing to love myself for exactly who I was at that time, smoker or not.
Because I thought smoking was bad, I embodied that and subconsciously felt a need to punish myself by lying or hiding my true self.
It wasn’t until I decided to embrace all of me – good, bad, and otherwise- that I found true love.
Because true love celebrates the truth AND always maintains hope for you to be all you were designed by a masterful creator to be.
And guess what? I’m not a smoker anymore. And I did it for me, not him. So it actually WAS easy.
The perfect way to avoid true love relationships is to live in shame and protect yourself from vulnerability.
Then, no one can hurt you!
Or love you……
It’s time to get real with ourselves and each other.
Have you ever ordered a salad on a date when you wanted the steak?
Have you taken up a hobby or interest that you would never do on your own?
There has to be a balance between having standards, compromising, and being real.
I don’t think I have all the answers, but I do think I have access to them. 🙂
Some of those answers are hidden inside of you… SO…
What things have you hidden while dating to try to get the person you’re supposed to want?
Who is your Dark Passenger (shameless DEXTER reference…lol) and who are you living as???