Getting your plan from concept to function

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  • When I was still dating, one of my guy friends told me I couldn't find love because I was too fat. Of course, my response was to cut him off and think about what a big jerk he was for saying such a thing... After all, I knew plenty of women larger than me that had love. But, the truth is, he was right. At least partially. At the time, my weight was a symptom of a life I wasn't happy with. I was doing all the things I thought I should do, but forgoing a lot of the things I wanted because they weren't "the norm" or "acceptable" to the group I spent most of my time with. That caused me to carry shame around in the form of extra weight. I hid behind pounds. So, I began my

  • When I was single in my 30s, I dated guys who had qualities I thought I "should" want. For example, I was a smoker. I knew I didn't want to be one forever, so I learned to hide the fact that I was before going on dates or meeting new people. I would even go so far as to tell guys who asked that I didn't smoke so they wouldn't reject me for that reason. "I can quit if we get serious", I would tell myself. The problem wasn't the smoking or not. The problem was I wasn't willing to love myself for exactly who I was at that time, smoker or not. Because I thought smoking was bad, I embodied that and subconsciously felt a need to punish myself by lying or hiding my true self. It wasn't until